There is no way to describe Kuusen Madoushi in words that would do it justice. I could tell you how godawful it is, but you wouldn’t understand, you could never truly understand. I’ve seen things, unspeakable things. Non-Euclidean horrors from the beyond, slithering voids from a realm mankind was not meant to behold.
And they pale in comparison to this show.
Since I don’t even know where to begin, let me just guide you through a single scene, which I think epitomizes just how incredibly bad Kuusen Madoushi is. Within sixty seconds, the following events occur:
- A girl with toast in her mouth who is late for school runs into the protagonist.
- The guy ends up with his hands on her breasts, even though she’s sitting upright.
- The girl misunderstands his words and thinks he called her flat, even though she is not flat-chested by any stretch of the imagination.
- Her toast landed exactly on his crotch, jam-side down.
- She gets overly embarrassed about it but also acts like it’s his fault.
- She calls him a pervert and cries out for help when he hasn’t done anything.
It’s hard to really capture the essence of this scene in just words. It has to be seen to be believed, but I wouldn’t wish that upon anyone.
The setting is typical light novel drivel. Sci-fi academy for special teenagers which is kind of like a military academy but is basically just high school. This time they fight terrible CG bugs, but whatever, no one watches these shows for the amazing backstory. Let’s move on to the characters, because oh boy are they wonderful.
The protagonist is Kirito –Sorry, I mean Kanata Age. Not surprisingly, he is the best. At everything. He’s an elite fighter, probably the best at the academy. He’s also such a nice guy, he checked the stock at the warehouse to see if anything was missing. This normally takes ten people three days, but it only took Kanata one night. It’s no big deal though. Kanata doesn’t take pride in doing these things. After all, they’re trivial.
But in order to offset how perfect Kanata is, he has to have a flaw. In this case, it’s that everyone calls him a traitor. Like, literally everyone, constantly. Now you might think that’s not a character flaw unless he actually did something bad, but you would be wrong. Kanata is a flawless being, and even the mere suggestion he might’ve betrayed someone is a grave insult.
The first episode refuses to explain why he’s called a traitor. In the opening scene, Kanata is shown fighting some space bugs. He sacrifices himself to hold off the enemy so that everyone can escape. I’m not sure why, because they seem to have plenty of time to leave. Anyway, Kanata takes a giant laser in the face, and it cuts to the present day. Everyone fighting with him that day is still alive, so I can’t really think of anything that would cause the traitor accusation. It’s probably supposed to be a plot twist for later, even though every single character in the show knows and it’s only the audience left in the dark.
Then, there’s the three girls. The first is Misora Whitale. Yes, in true light novel fashion, they all have nonsense names. She’s the girl from the toast scene. She’s just the same tsundere character that’s in every lame show, so there’s really not much more to say. She’s also the least bad out of the three, you can believe that.
Lecty Eisenach is the clumsy shy girl. She trips and falls, tries her best, stammers a lot, etc. etc. Same old tired stereotype, except turned up to eleven. Just like Misora, she gets to call Kanata a pervent because of a wacky misunderstanding.
Finally, there’s Rico Flamel. She has delusions of grandeur, despite being one of the worst students at the academy. This gimmick is again dialed up to the max, then dialed up some more, then dialed up further until the knob breaks off. She’s a legitimately insane person. This kind of character can’t possibly work outside an all-out comedy show, but Kuusen Madoushi will probably shove her right into Kanata’s harem.
She, too, calls Kanata a pervert because of a wacky misunderstanding.
I hated every minute of this show. The setting is extremely generic. The jokes either painful cliches or utter nonsense. Kanata is a ridiculous Mary Sue, and the girls are obnoxious as hell. It makes every other light novel show in recent memory look watchable in comparison. Don’t watch this. If you have any desire to watch it, seek professional help.
First Episode Rating: 1/10
What would it take for me to watch another episode? Full frontal lobotomy